people who have died
make up a part of me
you say you love me
and I don’t know what to do with that
I can never be anything but alone

the cat makes his demands
senses his aloneness
an immediacy
then forgets because I am here

the tv is on late into the night for distraction

I hug a friend
who feels like a lover
because I need her to
and you say you love me
but I don’t understand your intention

the cat demands and
I migrate into a waking state
shooting stars are rampant tonight
but the sky is filled with mist
so I’m blinded
the cat whispers to another feral
whose ghost purrs alone dead
and the sky is filled with mist

the memories of the dead
make up a part of me
but I’m still not sure of the fit
the juxtaposition of eternity
and common sense
leaves me confounded

you say you love me
and I don’t know what you’re saying
I have more wine
hoping to make sense of it
you kiss me
with your wife in the next room
and the ghosts of the dying see it all
you say you love me
and I don’t know what to do with that
the cat yawns and purrs
oblivious of his dead
but I feel them

the dead make you part of me
and the living I don’t comprehend
heat fills my immediacy
and I wish for an intensity to show me how to love the living
you say you love me
and I don’t know what to do
the dead make up a part of me

© Catherine Jenkins, 2014
www.catherinejenkins.com

 

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