this should be a secret, but pretty well everyone knows
I’m not a regular mouse, I’m a pure white lab mouse
I have to put on make-up to look like the Mouse, that is
I must look common, like the Mouse, who, of course,
is so very common he doesn’t know who his parents are,
oh, he’s nothing but common, raised high

I cannot begin to tell you the pain I suffer working with him
every day, pretending to feel the slightest sympathy for him
my time on screen is a record of a secret trial where I overcome
misery, harassment, debase myself and still remain true
to all I hold dear and worthy, good friends, a quiet life

they chose me because none of the other mice were pretty enough
for Mr. Disney’s requirements. His standards have always been high
and despite the questionable choices of personalities I had to deal with
all those touched by him have been transformed to much more
than they were before, aside from the very few of us who were
born fortunate and already as fine as nature could intend

I hope you notice my home. I have spent all of my free time
converting it into a sanctuary. It was a hovel when I bought it
but I knew I could transform it into something that would always
comfort. The mazes are on purpose, and regularly changed
to keep my faculties challenged. Of course, all things lead
to the running wheel and swimming pond. I have dedicated myself
to a life of exercise and maintaining my youthful vigour. I have a
training and health specialist who helps me. It’s so easy to be defeated
by the little things, I need help to stay on schedule, we all need
a little encouragement, and with the help of nutrition, vitamin
and get up and go supplements, I believe I can state certainly that I
appear as young today as I did the first day I walked on set

this is the power of healthy living, peace and quiet,
something I champion, in the midst of squalor, I might add

(I am summoned for a second interview; I can only presume she heard Mr. Mouse had spoken with me again, GG)