my sister in law comes from out west to help
how can she help I wonder? find a miracle
cure, make a shrewd observation that proves
it was all a mistake, what can she do?
arrives, gives Jarret gum, the Marines
have landed … storms into our apartment,
can’t wait to cry over Arlen, fights it back,
decides not to give Arlen gum, and starts talking
and laughing with her sister.

Cleans the dishes,
does the laundry,
does the cooking,
makes the beds,
folds the clothes,
does the shopping
drives the car,
talks on the phone,
gives advice,
teaches rude noises to Arlen;

and makes her sister laugh
the first laugh I have heard
since we returned from hospital.

Aunt Joanne is home
talking on the telephone
pretty soon she’s on the phone
to all of Toronto.

Aunt Joanne is moving in!
Ain’t nothing she fears
gonna take that ball and reduce it all to rubble
better get out of the way—she’s DOUBLE TROUBLE!

Always laughing,
even when she’s cleaning up,
trying to make Jarret fat
so she can call him Buttercup.
Singing Cinderella,
calls Arlen her little fella,
next thing you know she’s Stella,
a comet has arrived.

Got three boys of her own,
she’s got two covered sideways,
from the moment that she rises,
she’s their little momma Friday.

It’s, oh, so obvious, but oh so sly,
she’s our armour against the question “Why?”
When you ask me what is new, I’ll tell ya
there’s nothing Aunt Joanne can’t do!