I am saying over and over to myself
“my child has leukemia.”
It is not really a sentence or a phrase,
I cannot make it into a form that my mind finds acceptable.
It is not enough of a thought to take much memory or concentration;
“my child has leukemia”
is the start of a story, not a sentence,
there is not enough in it to compel understanding,
it just continues to burn,
drive me through the night,
behind the wheel of a strange automobile.
What does “my child has leukemia” mean?
what is the sense of that sentence? can I explain it?
I can’t explain it, it is beyond me, beyond
my wildest dreams,
though suddenly I am getting the sense
my dreams haven’t been wild enough lately, and this is
a bit of a challenge, a bit of a surprise
a bit of stuff I’m not ready for,
could you spell it out for me?
Give it to me bit by bit so I can
comprehend it, understand it,
“my child has leukemia”
just doesn’t cut it, it’s
not really a thought at all.