I no longer comprehend sticky tape.
My parents are dead. I have no reason to complain about them.
You never really escape high school.
Everything can be solved by walking.
I used to believe in stuff.
No one cares if I wear a dress or not.
People are even more boring.
I’m too patient.
No one talks loud enough.
Getting lost is no longer an adventure.
Trains are OK. They take their time getting to the future.
I still care if other people die.
Sex is better, but it doesn’t last as long.
None of my really good wishes come true.
I know almost everything but I can’t remember what’s next.
Food’s more expensive.
Pun-aphors
A pigeon flew at me and made me duck.
I was excited by the bow and arrow, but I no longer get that quiver.
I wanted to write an alphabet in a boat, but I floundered at sea.
I got a dog and wanted us to have pet Latin names — he was going to be Canus, but my friend said “You can’t be Sirius.”



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