sign in public park
“Notice: 2.8 million people in Toronto
“230,000 dogs
“reminder: not everyone likes Max”

It reads like a syllogism
an irrefutable equation,
near apodictic; which means
I must accept this proof.

I don’t remember pissing off
all those people at once;
the dogs are a complete
surprise; I thought we bred
dogs to like humans, but
there it is and here I am,
not everyone likes Max.

Perhaps a blanket apology
is in order? A counter-sign
to be placed beside the notice,
“Max says sorry to anyone
who doesn’t like me. I never
meant to annoy you. If I didn’t
annoy you or you don’t dislike me,
please disregard this notice.”

Maybe a marketing initiative:
“The world needs more Max!”
“With Max your teeth will be
whiter than a rich man’s!”
“Who wouldn’t want to be Max?”

OK, what’s Max done this time?
Is there no room here, midst
this immaculately maintained
wilderness, for Max? I understand
you want me on a leash, but,
I’m asking you to account,
mathematically, just like your sign:
how many did I bite? how many nips?
who exactly has been hurt (this time?)
are these social slights or mortal sins?
what’s the cost, where do I pay,
when does the sign come down?
<my good friend “Millionaire” Murphy modelled Max.>