That, in the end, is the sheer audacity of my neglect,
rudimentary rabbit—you know why they call me that?
That’s what it said in the script, for those shots when all you see
is the back of bunny head, or just a big fat rabbit foot sticking
into the frame for a moment before it disappears, that’s me,
rudimentary rabbit, they said it was because of the accent,
joda con eso, que se jodan todos, maricons!
Like a fool I thought there would be room for two rabbits
in the great Hollywood, but I thought wrong,
especially when I was so much more talented
than any other rabbit whose name shall not be mentioned.
I am properly an Iberian rabbit, and my Spanish heritage shows,
I can tell by the way you look at me, you ask yourself
how could such a handsome rabbit have been ignored
nay, barred from the screen? Because that’s the fact
I could have been better than the original, but no
because I’m too refined, I’m not American enough.
It’s as if my life has been defined by another
and the final insult is, I’m rudimentary rabbit
just the pieces, not this magnificent whole, never
to have my chance, just another bit player, everyone
told me Hollywood is cruel, don’t do it, but I thought
I knew cruelty; I should never have left my warren.
(Rudy is known for rabbit stand-ins throughout cartoon history. GG)